The Other Kind of Smart
Harvey Deutschendorf
Boost Your Emotional Intelligence for Greater Power and Joy at Home, Work, and Play“An easy to read, interesting book that uses everyday stories and simple exercises to show us how to make the most of emotional intelligence in our workplaces and homes"
Lee Iacocca
“This book shows you how to be more personable and persuasive with everyone you meet. It will transform your relationships with others!”
Brian Tracy, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Focal Point
“Good, sound advice on how to create and maintain meaningful relationships."
John Gray, Ph.D., author, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
“Harvey shows us how to overcome barriers that stand in the way of reaching our true potential.”
Robin Sharma, author of the #1 International Bestsellers The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and The Saint, The Surfer and the CEO
“This book gives straight answers. I recommend it.”
Marianne Williamson, author, Enchanted Love: The Mystical Power of Intimate Relationships
“Whether at work, at home or at play, emotional intelligence skills are crucial to enhancing our lives. This easy-to-read book brings those skills home to the reader in an interesting and effective manner.”
Jim Clemmer, author, Growing the Distance and The Leader’s Digest
Beating Road Rage
Harvey Deutschendorf
Harvey Deutschendorf is the author of The Other Kind of Smart, Simple Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence for Greater Personal Effectiveness and Success, published by American Management Association.
Harvey is available for talks, seminars, and courses. For more information, contact Harvey here.
Beating Road Rage
The other day I was driving down a four lane road at about 3:00 in the afternoon. The traffic was light and I was in the right lane. Suddenly a car cuts in front of me, swerves into my lane and THEN hits his brakes. My first impulse was to get both of my hands working—one to blow the horn—and the other to give this jerk the one finger salute. How many of you have had that happen? Now, my inner voice was talking to me, saying "Look at that jerk... he cuts right in front of you. He doesn't give a damn about you, or the other vehicles behind you who had to slam on their brakes to avoid an accident. He doesn't give a rip that he almost caused an accident. He's decided at the last minute that he wants to change lanes and l bet he's not even going to bother signaling"!!! I hear that dialogue in my mind in a split second.
Then, instead of reacting instinctively, I start counting to 10. As I counted I found myself thinking more clearly, my anger dissipated and I started to wonder why this driver cut me off the way he did. This is a technique I taught myself to practice whenever I struggle with Impulse Control, an area of Emotional Intelligence. We are unable to hold more than one thought at a time, so when I'm counting I'm unable to focus on the anger I am feeling, allowing it to diminish. By the time I'm finished counting, my thoughts have regained control over my emotions.
Then I hear it—a siren—an emergency vehicle is coming up in the left lane... the one that the driver just pulled away from. The driver that pulled in front of me had obviously heard it before I had and was being a responsible and courteous citizen, and yet, only moments before, I thought him to be a reckless idiot. Imagine how I would have felt, had I given him the horn and finger. Or worse, imagine if I had, in a fit of anger and frustration, decided to go around him and slammed into the very ambulance he was avoiding.
The problem with road rage is that it spirals, and often doesn't end when we reach our destination. The residue stays with us for some time to come. Before we lose the anger it can cause us more grief in our lives. Unable to take our frustrations out on the person that has caused them; we carry them with us, all the way to the workplace or our homes. If we're on our way to work we might end up in a foul mood all day take our frustrations out on our coworkers, boss, employees, secretary or whoever else we are in contact with. If we're on our way home we might snap at our wife/husband/partner, or yell at the kids and pets.
The best way to deal effectively with "Road Rage", is to find a way to nip it in the bud at the time that it happens. Find a way to diffuse it at its source. That way, whatever happens on the road, stays on the road.
Return to top Beating Road Rage
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